Mistakes and Heartbreak
by RemedialPotions
Summary: Severus and Lily had made a mistake. What will come of their indiscretion? Will their friendship survive?
1. Sev's Plea

This is my first ever fanfic. Please be gentle I still have no idea what I'm doing. Many thanks to my wonderful Beta ArtImitatesSex and of course the amazing Ms. Rowling without whom, I would most definitely be a different person. Everything you recognize is Jo's.

Please review =)

Severus:

"Lily, please! Please talk to me."

She was walking to Study Hall with the pack of Gryffindor girls that always surrounded her. She hadn't even looked back when he called her name. He hadn't really expected her to anyways. He knew it was going to be like this. He had known it ever since the moment he had let that inexcusable word slip for his mouth. How many nights had he stayed up wishing he had a Time-Turner so he could go back and change everything?

All her stuck up friends were throwing him dirty looks as they walked on. Suddenly he rushed forward through the group and grasped her by the hand, spinning her around to face him. Her face was full of rage as he released her hand and raised both of his in supplication. Before she could start shouting at him he spoke,

"Please Lily just talk to me! We _need_ to talk about this!"

All her friends had rounded on him furious. They were all shouting "How dare you!" "Keep your hands off of her! "Do you want us to _take care _of him for you Lil?"

Lily:

She knew he was right. They really _did _need to talk about it. About everything. Putting off this conversation any longer was not going to do any good.

"No guys, it's fine. I'll meet up with you in a bit ok?" She replied.

"You sure?" Mary had come defensively to her side.

"I'm positive. I'll catch up with you guys."

She had been avoiding him since the disaster by the lake last week. They had finished their O.W.L's and she was about to walk over to him so they could have this talk when Potter and his friends had started tormenting him. She half felt guilty about the whole situation. If she hadn't been a coward and had gone over to talk to him before the popular group of boys from her house had found him by himself the whole situation could have been avoided. And then he had called her that horrible word and she had been so furious with him she had refused to speak to him ever since. She knew he didn't mean it. And she knew that she had probably gone to hard on him when he had tried to apologize. The fact he apologized at all spoke volumes. In the almost seven years she had known him she had never known Severus Snape to apologize to anyone. She knew he deserved her forgiveness.

In fact, she owed him so much more than that. This whole situation was her fault. She should have never let him make love to her that night in March. She had know how he felt about her and she had known then that she didn't feel the same way. She was wrong.

It took everything inside her to fix her face into a mask of cold indifference as she turned to face him.

"Okay Sev, you have my attention."

"What about the baby?" It was almost a whisper.

"What _about _the baby?" she replied "I'm going to put it up for adoption. We're just kids. I'm….I'm not ready for this." The look on his face made her want to scream, and break everything in sight, and then hold him and tell him it would be ok. But she knew she had to play this part. This cold-hearted bitch. She had already hurt him so much, she couldn't let him hope for anything more.

She went on, "Did you really think I would say anything else? I want to finish school! I want to have a career, and I want to get married and do this whole thing the proper way!"

"I'll marry you! You _can _finish school! We can do this, we can make it work! Please Lily….I love you. I always have, and I always will. Let me take care of you." She knew he was telling the truth. She had expected him to say just that, but it didn't make her hate herself any less for what came next.

"I don't love you Sev. Not in that way."

"I don't care!" he said fiercely grasping bother hands in his and looking into her eyes. "We're best friends, we can make this work. I know we can."

"No Sev, I don't think we can…You deserve someone who loves you with her whole heart. Someone better than me." Suddenly she couldn't stand there and hurt him anymore. "I have to go." She said and she rushed off down the hall after her friends leaving him there with his heart breaking in the middle of the corridor.

" _Damn you Lily Evans!"_ she thought bitterly to herself. _"Damn you for what you've just done to your best friend."_

Later that night she couldn't stop playing the past few months over and over in her head. Starting with that significant night back in March. He had asked her to join him for lunch on their last Hogsmeade trip. If she was at all honest with herself she had had an amazing time. He was so different when it was just the two of them. She found his snarky sarcastic sense of humor rather charming. They often times just sat for hours doing homework and laughing over nonsense. She wished that he could learn to let his guard down a little around other people instead of alienating himself from everyone except for her. It would be nice to be able to have him around with the rest of her friends.

After Hogsmead they had walked back to the castle together and she felt for the very first time a desire to hold his hand. She was so nervous and she could tell that he was too, but she snuck her hand into his and instead of feeling awkward and clammy like she thought it would her small hand felt perfect interlaced with his. They made for one of their favorite archways that overlooked the court-yard. It was partially hidden by a huge camellia bush and was at the end of a walkway so it was reasonably secluded which is probably why Severus liked it in the first place. They often came to sit in this very spot and review homework and quiz each other. He had cast a Disillusionment Charm on them so nobody coming into the castle from their Hogsmeade trip wouuld notice them, should the Camellia bush fail to conceal them from view, and there in their favorite hidden archway he had kissed her for the very first time.

It started off unhurried and deliberate and built up to an all consuming passionate expression of how he felt for her. She had known right then and there that she should not let it go any further. That she should just tell him thank you for the amazing day they had spent together and rush to her dormitory before they did anything rash. But she frankly could not stop herself. Could not break their embrace or pull her fingers out of his hair which was not greasy like everyone said, but rather soft and sleek under her fingers.

They had crept their way to the Room of Requirement, and as the door closed behind them he gathered her into his arms and planted sweet soft kissed from just below her ear all the way down her neck, across her collar bone to her shoulder. She shuddered and gasped and he caught her mouth with his again, deepening his kisses.

When he had finished making love to her they lie in the bed that the room had provided for them, intertwined in each others arms. His gaze hadn't left her eyes and she would've loved to have stayed in that moment forever. One leg between both of his and his hand wrapped in her hair, her hand caressing his face. She had loved him in that moment. And while they were here in this place she thought that maybe they could build a life together.

But of course that was not an option. He was Severus Snape. Yes he was her best friend, but he had grown into someone she barely knew. She had known that was why he had asked her to lunch that Hogsmeade weekend. They had been growing apart for ages and he was trying to secure his place in her life for just a little longer. But how could Lily ignore his choice of companions outside of her company? The group that despised her and her friends with a hostility that went much deeper than house rivalry. She couldn't. She wouldn't. It would have to be her or them, and she knew that he wouldn't choose her. Not when her own friends were no better. They despised him, and it was too late for everyone to kiss and make up now. No, Lily knew that night when she returned to her dormitory that what she had just done was the biggest mistake of her teenage life so far. And not only because she was fairly certain she wasn't ready to have sex, no matter how good it was. It was because she knew her best friend was so deeply in love with her that when he realized that she had no intention of continuing a romantic or sexual relationship with him he would be crushed. She hated herself for allowing that night to happen.

And now she hated herself even more because of the fact that a child was going to be born who would be given up for adoption and who might one day feel that his (or her) parents hadn't wanted him. It couldn't be further from the truth. She did love this baby already. It hadn't even started to moved in her womb and yet she felt it alive. She loved him, and she loved the baby and regardless of that love she knew she had to give them both up.

She had never been so heartbroken in all her life.


	2. Coming Clean

*Author's Note/Disclaimer:  
>I do not own anything. Everything you recognize belongs to the beautiful and talented Ms. Rowling.<p>

I had a hard time writing this chapter because I wasn't really sure how to go about writing certain characters. I was especially intimidated by Professor McGonagall so if you wonder why there wasn't more actual conversation with her, that's why.

Please review. I really would appreciate the feedback.

Lots of love always to my Lovely Betas ArtImitatesSex and Take –the-to-the-Pensive =)

Sev:

He watched her walk away after their confrontation and with her went all his hope and dreams for a life he had always wanted. Of course he had already known what her answer would be. He had always known that she didn't love him and could never love their child.

No, Lily Evans dreamed of a different life, a life where her friends and family could accept the man that she loved. He would never be that man. He had no desire to put on a smile and make polite conversation with people he didn't care for. _"Not even for her?" _that treacherous voice in the back of his head interjected. _"Isn't she worth it?" _Of course she was worth it! But how could he even start to go about being a different person? He had no idea how to feign pleasantries or socialize over tea. All he knew how to do was brew potions and invent dark curses, and perhaps make Lily Evans laugh.

He sighed knowing that all he would ever have of her was the night they spent together in the Room of Requirement. Would she ever let him kiss her or hold her again? It didn't matter, all he knew was she was his best friend and he wouldn't lose that. Their friendship meant more to him than anything. If she didn't want to be with him that was fine. He never expected her to anyways, but he would do whatever it took to preserve their friendship.

He was relieved to see her head in his direction after potions the next afternoon, and equally relieved to see that she no longer wore a mask of cold indifference. Instead she looked determined, and slightly concerned. When she joined him in the hallway they walked silently together both knowing that the other one was heading for their favorite archway so as to continue their discussion from the other day. When they arrived at their destination he turned to face her and before she could say anything he launched into his feeble ill prepared speech,

"Look, I'm not going to try and convince you of all the reasons we should be together. I know you don't love me the way that I want you to and I'm ok with that, but Lily, you're my best friend and even though you don't want to keep this baby and be a family with me that doesn't mean that I don't want to be there for you. You don't have to go through this alone. Please, just don't shut me out…Please let me be there for you. It's my baby too."

She looked stunned and for a moment he was certain that would tell him to bugger off and walk out of his life forever, but all of a sudden her face was buried in his chest and her body was rocking with silent sobs. He wrapped his arms protectively around her. He was never good at this sort of thing. He never had to be. Lily wasn't a girl to let things get to her. She didn't cry often. Not in front of him anyways, and he was thankful that in this moment she needed him to comfort her.

"Okay Sev." Was all she said and he thought his heart would explode in his chest. She had said yes. They were still friends. She wasn't going to shut him out of her life completely.

Suddenly the weight of their situation hit him full force. She wanted to finish school, she wanted a career. She wasn't ready to be a mother. He was glad that she had decided to put the baby up for adoption and equally glad that she didn't have to go through this whole process alone. They had started this together and he was not going to abandon her when she most needed him.

"Have you told anyone yet?" He inquired.

"Only madam Pomfrey." She replied. "She said that I'm about 12 weeks along and that the baby is due on December 21st , She promised not to say anything until I was ready."

He could tell she was scared. "Ok, we need to go to your Head of house and try and work out a plan. There are only a few weeks left of this school year. Maybe the Headmaster will let you do a home study type of program for next term and then come back after the Christmas holidays. I'll stay home too and we can study together. No one has to know if you don't want them to. "

He wiped a tear away from her cheek and thought to himself that he had never seen anything more beautiful in his life than this girl that he loved with tears rolling down her face and her eyes red and puffy.

Lily:

She felt silly crying in front of him. She couldn't ever remember letting him see her like this. All she wanted was to kiss him and run her fingers through his hair. But that was what had gotten them into this situation in the first place. Once in her whole life she let her guard down and decided to not be the sensible girl she was and her best friend got hurt and she ended up pregnant. _"Great, she thought. Now I have to tell Professor Mcgonagall and the Headmaster. Not to mention my parents! They're going to be so disappointed." _She thought miserably.

"Ok, that sounds like a good plan. I'll schedule a meeting with Professor McGonagall and we'll take it from there." She hesitated over what she said next, "Did you want to be there?" A part of her was scared that he would say no; that he would realize that he owed her nothing and would leave her to bear this burden all alone.

Instead, he took her hand in his and said "Of course I do."

Relief flooded through her and she threw her arms around his neck. "I'll see you at dinner Sev."

She broke their embrace and left toward the Gryffindor common room.

She met him in the corridor outside Professor McGonagall's office the next afternoon. And as they waited for the class of 3rd years to file out of the classroom the panic that had risen inside her wasn't so overwhelming with Severus by her side.

"Come on." He said, taking her hand and leading her through the classroom to Professor McGonangall's office.

"Miss Evans, Mr. Snape." She greeted them raising an inquiring eyebrow at Severus' presence.

"Hello Professor." She replied nervously.

"What can I do for you two this afternoon?"

Severus squeezed her hand encouragingly and she found the courage to form the next words to come out of her mouth, "Professor, I'm pregnant."

The meeting had gone better than Lily had expected it to go. While Professor McGonagall was understandably disappointed, she was also genuinely concerned and listened to Lily's plan with an open mind and when they three of them sat down with the Headmaster it was agreed that Lily would study her subjects from home for the first term so as to keep her pregnancy as relatively quiet as possible, and while she wouldn't actually be able to practice magic from home without supervision, Professor Mcgonagall offered to Floo to Lily's home twice a month on weekends so as to help her with her Transfiguration, Charms and Defense Against the Dark Arts practical lessons. All the rest of her schoolwork she would complete by corresponding with each Professor individually.

Severus on the other hand was not granted permission to study from home. He was however given the opportunity to return home to visit Lily on the weekends given that he kept up with his classes and maintained at least an Exceeds Expectations average in all subjects. While Severus was not thrilled about returning to school without Lily, he was looking forward to spending the summer with her and returning back home to see her on weekends.

A few days before the end of term, Lily received a note from Professor Dumbldore:

Dear Lily,

If it is convenient to you, please accept my invitation for tea this afternoon to further discuss arrangements for the upcoming school year.

Most Sincerely,  
>Albus Dumbledore<p>

P.S.  
>I like Fizzing Whizzbee's<p>

Lily wasn't quite sure what to make of this invitation, but figured maybe she was reading too much into it and maybe the headmaster did just want to discuss their arrangements for the coming term. She scrawled a confirmation and went back to the Gryffindor Common Room to start packing. Tomorrow was their last day of classes and the end of term feast and she hated leaving her packing for the last minute.

When Lily went to see the Headmaster that afternoon she wasn't sure what to expect and as she said Fizzing Whizzbees to the ugly stone gargoyle she couldn't help but feel slightly apprehensive. She couldn't remember ever having to appear before the Headmaster, except of course the other day to discuss her pregnancy and her plan for the next term, and it made her nervous to appear before him now without Severus or Professor McGonagall or any real idea as to why she had been invited in the first place.

She knocked tentatively on the door and from within Professor Dumbledore's voice said "Come in."

As she stepped into the office, she was slightly relieved to see him smiling at her, his eyes twinkling as ever. He was sitting behind his massive desk with a tea service for two set before him. "Ah. Good afternoon Miss Evans. May I call you Lily?" He asked, "I feel silly addressing you so formally while we are sitting for tea. How do you take yours?"

"Yes of course Professor, two sugars and a splash of milk please." She replied still wondering why she was here.

As if he could read her mind Dumbledore said "You are probably wondering why I have summoned you here this afternoon." He said placing her tea in front of her and settling down in his chair before her.

"Yes I was actually." She admitted sipping her cup.

"Well, Lily..." He began "I am undeniably concerned about this whole situation. I am not angry if that's what you are thinking and you are not in trouble. But I feel as if I would be remiss if I didn't address the predicament at all and swept it under the rug as it were." He fixed her with a fatherly gaze that she knew was genuine and was relieved to realize that the whole reason for this meeting was none other than the Headmaster was concerned. "Now, is there anything you need?" He asked.

"Well, no sir, I don't think so. I'm just a little nervous about sitting down with my parents, but other than that I'm ok." She answered.

"Perfectly understandable Lily." The Headmaster responded. "Now would it make it any easier on you if myself or perhaps Professor Mcgonagall were to join you in your discussion with your parents? I'm sure they will have concerns themselves."

His offer surprised Lily. For some reason, she had expected him to be greatly disappointed and take the point of view that she "deserved what she got" for letting her hormones get the best of her. She was deeply touched by his offer to sit with her while she went about the enormous task of telling her parents that their sixteen year old daughter had gotten herself pregnant. But for some reason she felt that telling her parents by herself with Severus would be a better idea.

" Thank you for the offer Professor, but I think I can handle my parents on my own." She chuckled.

"Certainly my dear, certainly. Now about Severus Snape, I trust that if there were any instance of improper behavior, other than the obvious, on his part that you would inform Professor Mcgonagall or myself." His look of concern deepened and Lily was stunned to realize what the Headmaster was asking her.

"No!" She almost shouted. "No, of course not Sir. Severus isn't like that. We've been friends since we were children. He's my best friend. It was both of our faults." She explained "Really sir." She added hastily trying to convince him. When at last his gaze softened she released a breath she hadn't realized she was holding .

"Very well Lily. I believe you. Please be sure to owl myself or Professor Mcgonagall immediately if you should need anything this summer. I will be in touch regarding your classes and the required texts and materials closer to the start of the term. Now do you have any questions for me?" He asked.

"No Professor, thank you for the tea." She replied.

"You are very welcome Lily. Enjoy the end of term feast tomorrow, and do enjoy your summer as well." The old wizard said as he rose to walk her to the door of his office.

"Thank you sir, you too." She answered.

Sev:

The train ride back home from Hogwarts seemed shorter than it ever had before. Suddenly Severus was forced to realize that he was going to face Lily's parents as the teenager from down the road that impregnated their daughter. For the first time in his life he was anxious not only about what someone else would think of him but also of what that might mean. Would her parents forbid their friendship, would he not be allowed to spend time with Lily over the summer? Would he not get to be there for the birth of their child? Would he not get to say goodbye? And what about when this whole ordeal was over? Would Lily be forbidden to see him ever again? He hadn't bothered asking her these questions yet and he found that he was scared of what the answers might be.

Her gentle voice broke through his ponderings. "It's going to be okay Sev; they aren't going to hate you." He smirked at her ability to always seem to know just what he was thinking. He looked up into her face and found a mischievous smile there.

"I hope not." He replied. "I just don't want to be excluded from being there for you and the baby."

"I know Sev, just explain it just like that and I'm sure they'll be understanding." She hadn't convinced him but she seemed sure.

They were sure to be expecting something. After all Lily had written her parents and told them that Severus was going to be riding home with them from King's Cross and would be joining them for dinner as well. And she had also warned them that she had something of importance to discuss with them.

They knew who Severus was. He hadn't spent a whole lot of time in their home over the years but, being Lily's friend, he had been introduced to her parents a number of times and had even been to dinner once or twice during the summer and Christmas holidays but had never accompanied them home from King's Cross, or joined them for dinner immediately after. He was apprehensive to say the least.

When the train at last pulled into the station and they greeted Lily's parents, Severus was relieved that they greeted him warmly and welcomed him home from Hogwarts and also that Lily's sister Petunia was absent from the reunion. Petunia had always despised Severus and she was intensely jealous of Lily. This made her spiteful toward her sister and Severus himself. He suspected that deep down; Petunia herself wished that she had received a Hogwarts letter all those years ago.

The ride home went by quickly with Lily's parent's asking all about the goings on at Hogwarts and how they thought they did in their exams and would Severus care to invite his parents to dinner as well?

"No thank you, I think they have other plans for tonight." was his response.

When they finally arrived at Lily's house her parents set about making dinner. It was strange to him to see them interact lovingly. Smiling, laughing, joking, moving about the kitchen together with an ease that could only come from spending years together and actually being in love. He wasn't used to it. His own parents' relationship was so damaged and poisoned he was sure they would never be anything other than cold, distant, and cruel toward one another. Suddenly he hated his father. Hated him for what he had done to his mother, how he treated her, what he had taken away from her. He would've liked to have gotten to know his mother as she was before his father had made her snap her wand and spent the subsequent years being abusive and cruel to her, breaking her spirit.

Dinner was pleasant, Severus found it surprisingly easy to sit and make conversation with the Evans's especially since Lily's sister had not come home for dinner. The meal was delicious and the small talk that surrounded it was not as mundane and pointless as he usually found small talk to be. Lily's father was interested in Severus's aspirations for the future and her mother asked politely after his parents and when he gave elusive answers she did not pry. As dinner wound down and everyone settled into the family room, Severus grew more and more anxious. He hoped that it didn't show as they made their way from the dining room to the family room, everyone's mood sobering.

Lily's parents set themselves on the loveseat across from them and Severus noted that they had apprehension etched on both their faces.

"Mum, dad…" Lily started "This isn't easy to say, but there isn't really any other way to say it, so I'm just going to say it. I'm pregnant."

Her parents exchanged incredulous looks before turning back to their daughter, and Severus himself.

Her father recovered first "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure…I'm sorry daddy." She added to the floor unwilling to meet his eyes.

"Are you the father young man?" Her mother asked.

Severus was surprised to hear disappointment mingled with concern in her voice instead of the disdain he was expecting. "Yes ma'am." He replied, not really knowing what else to say short of _"I'm sorry I knocked your daughter up." _which he was sure would turn their opinion of him for the worse.

"Well, what do you have to say for yourselves?" Her father asked.

"We're going to give the baby up for adoption." Lily replied.

"That's a very hard decision to make darling, are you sure that's what you want to do?" Lily's mother asked them, her voice still full of concern.

Lily turned to Severus and her eyes seemed to say "_I'm sorry_." just like he knew his must be saying "_Please_…"

"Yes, we're sure." She answered. "I want to finish school, and have a career…" She trailed off.

"Well, we are going to support you no matter the circumstances, you do know that right Lily?" Her father reassured her rising from his seat next to mother and pulling his daughter into a warm embrace.

"Thank you daddy." She muttered into his chest.

"And what about school?" Her mother inquired

Lily told them in great detail the plan she had outlined with Professors McGonagall and Dumbledore and assured them that if they had any questions either one would be happy to answer their owls.

"Now, what of your parents Severus, have you told them yet?" Her mother asked him.

He hadn't even thought about how his parents might react to this whole situation. He doubted it would even register to them. His father was always drunk and his mother had fallen into a severe depression over the past few years. The news that he had fathered a child with his best friend and they had decided to put it up for adoption would surely only drive his mother deeper into her despair and was sure to give fuel to his father's bitter alcohol fueled verbal abuse.

"No, I haven't yet ma'am, but I will." he paused not sure if what he was planning on saying next was the right thing to say at all but he figured now was the best time to say anything "I care very much about your daughter, she's been my best friend the past six years and I would very much like to be able to spend as much time with her as possible throughout the pregnancy. I understand that our behavior has been inappropriate for our age and that you are probably very disappointed, but this is my baby as well and I would like to be involved….that is, if it's alright with you."

"I appreciate that young man. And you are welcome in this home as long as Lily will have you, however, there will be rules to follow, I hope you can understand that."

"Yes sir, I can understand that and I assure you I will abide by whatever rules you feel the need to enforce." Severus replied not believing his luck.

The rules were simple.

Severus was not allowed to be over past midnight, and he was not to be upstairs past ten o'clock in the evening. Other than that however, the Evans's were fairly lenient with the whole situation much to Severus's relief.

The only person who seemed to be outraged was Petunia. Severus had expected this reaction from her of course. She despised everything about him and she was deeply jealous of her sister. He had no doubt that Petunia felt that had it been her that had come home from school pregnant her parents would have disowned her on the spot. Severus doubted this very much himself, but he was sure that's what Petunia thought.

Among other things she was absolutely enraged that her sister had not been reprimanded in any way except to be told that her "boyfriend" could not be upstairs past ten at night and was allowed to stay till midnight. She often started arguments involving the whole household that reduced Lily to tears because her sister had called her whore, slut, and all other manner of hurtful names.

On occasions such as this Severus was glad that Lily's parents had agreed that he be allowed to spend time in their home so that Lily had him to turn to whenever Petunia was being a bitch about everything. He wanted nothing more than to curse her into oblivion, but she was still Lily's sister and he knew that Lily loved her and hoped to repair their relationship one day.

He wondered how it would be once he had to return to Hogwarts. He worried that Petunia's continued cruelness and bitter outbursts would have negative effects on Lily and their baby. He was therefore relieved when one day he showed up after breakfast to find that Lily's parents and sister were gone and she was waiting for him under the tree on the front lawn smiling and quite obviously bursting to tell him good news. "Petunia is gone for the rest of the year." She hadn't even waited for him to get past the front gate.

"What do you mean?" He asked.

"Well, my parents told her that if she couldn't be a supportive and productive part of the family, that she couldn't stay here any longer." She explained. My mum called my Aunt and Uncle who live in Bristol and asked them if Petunia could stay with them until I returned to Hogwarts."

"How did she take it?" Severus asked not quite able to contain his grin.

"She was upset, but she said that she would rather go live with family who didn't spoil their whore of a daughter anyways." She said calmly.

"I'm sorry she said that about you." He said quietly. Severus knew it must have hurt her to hear her sister say that.

"I honestly don't care anymore. I'm so tired of her hysterics. All I want to do is focus on getting through this pregnancy and finding a couple who will love this baby." She said not quite able to mask the sadness in her voice.

"So, what do you want to do today?" He said determined to make her happy for the rest of the day.

She smiled up at him, oh how he loved to see her smile and he found himself wondering if their baby would have her smile.

"O I don't know, I've been craving chocolate chip cookies, fancy watching me try to bake?" she asked laughing at herself as she started toward the house. Her laughter rang through the air and it seemed to make his heart swell.

"Please don't burn the house down." He teased causing her to laugh even harder.

He followed her across the lawn and wondered vaguely if this was what life would be like with her. He then realized that he would never really know what life with her would be like. She didn't want her life to look like this with him. She only wanted friendship from him and nothing more. He tried to remember that as he climbed the front steps and for the rest of the day, their one beautiful afternoon together three and a half months before screaming to be remembered in the back of his consciousness.


	3. Unexpected Visitors

**Authors Note:  
>I do not own any rights. Jo Rowling own everything. Thanks as always to my lovely Betas. Enjoy =)<strong>

Lily:

As summer wore on, Lily and Severus fell into a comfortable rhythm in which their days were filled with Lily catching up on reading her favorite muggle magazines and books, trying to and failing to get Severus to enjoy her favorite muggle music and television shows, and occasionally walking down to the park by their houses where they had first met all those years ago.

Lily couldn't explain why, but by simply spending all this time with Severus it felt like they had come to know more about each other than they ever had. Indeed their friendship was stronger than ever and while this made Lily happy, she had some misgivings as well.

These were confirmed when one day someone most unexpected showed up at the front door shortly after lunch. Lily's mother had answered the door bell and her voice rang out from the entry way "Severus, dear! Someone is asking for you at the door!"

"Be right there Mrs. Evans." He replied getting to his feet, Lily right behind him.

When they got to the door, he was taken aback to see none other than Lucius Malfoy standing there looking quite suspicious. "Good afternoon Severus. A word please?" He greeted them, completely ignoring Lily's presence at all.

Severus turned to Lily "I'm sorry, this should only be a moment. I'll be right back. Ok?"

She was furious and she had every right to be. She knew exactly who and what Lucius Malfoy was as well as what he thought of her. She was astonished that he had the audacity to show up on her doorstep.

"Ya that's fine." She replied never taking her cold glare from Lucius's indifferent face.

Lucius turned and walked out of the house clearly expecting Severus to follow, he gave Lily a quick peck on the check before he followed the tall pale former Slytherin.

Lily went back inside the house to join her mother in cleaning up the kitchen with a feeling of dread.

"Did Sev leave honey?" Her mother asked, handing her a dish towel to dry the dishes she washed and handed her.

"Ya, that was one of his friends from Hogwarts. He was a few years ahead of us and in Sev's house." She answered her mother, unsure of whether she should also tell her mother that Lucius Malfoy was a particularly prejudiced wizard who thought that Lilya and her kind were lower than the dirty beneath his feet.

Her thoughts, however were interrupted by her mother, "So…what's going on with you and Sev?" she asked with a knowing grin.

"Nothing." Lily replied evasively as a small blush warmed her cheeks.

There was in fact nothing going on between the two of them. Nothing more than usual; yes he was over almost every day which was more than any other summer since they had met, but she had known that he would be. He wanted to spend as much time with her as possible before he went back to Hogwarts leaving her here alone for the rest of her pregnancy.

"Uh-huh" said her mother in reply.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Lily chuckled.

"O nothing, darling, just that I was a teenager once and I know what it looks like when people your age are falling for one another."

At this Lily blushed in earnest now. If she were to be honest with herself her mother had a point. The way Lily and Severus interacted on a daily basis looked, to an outsider, more like a couple than just two best friends. Their physical contact, though not inappropriate went beyond friendly to almost intimate. Him tucking a strand of hair behind her ear almost subconsciously, her laying with her head in his lap as they read on a blanket outside under their favorite tree in the back yard, the way they seemed to gravitate toward one another without meaning to when they went for their evening walks, their bodies in nearly constant contact.

"Mum, we've just grown a whole lot closer over this whole situation." She knew she sounded like she was even trying to convince herself.

"Lily, sweetheart, anyone with eyes can see that he adores you. What are you so afraid of? I know you have feelings for the young man as well. You might be fooling yourself, but you are most definitely not fooling your father and I." Her mother revealed gently.

"It's just that, here, away from school, it's easy to be close. But back at Hogwarts we're apart of two different worlds mum, and I know that sounds very shallow, like I'm afraid of what my friends think; but that's not it. It's deeper than that mum. I can't really explain it." She replied.

"Ok Lil. All I know is he makes you happy. And I want you to be happy darling. Both your father and I do. And he treats you so wonderfully." She paused looking like she didn't know how to say the next part, "Do let him down easy. Don't break his heart or anything Lily. The poor boy has had enough heartbreak and disappointment from those pathetic excuse for parents he's got." Her mother said almost crying.

Lily nodded knowing that her mother was referring to Severus's abusive father and his neglectful mother. She had always known that his parents weren't exactly kind or caring, but she hadn't really know to what extent until this summer. Before, Severus had usually avoided talking about them and the little answers he gave had been evasive. This summer however had been quite different. As Sev spent more and more time with Lily and her parents, he became more comfortable opening up and sharing things about his family and home life.

She know knew for instance that his father was a raging alcoholic that had snapped his wife's wand when Severus was born and had started beating her shortly after. Severus had told her stories in which his mother oftentimes took a beating meant for him simply because he did something children often do such as accidentally spilling a glass of milk or running into the house excitedly and accidentally slamming the door. He said he had been horrified at the thought that his mother was being beaten on account of him. While his mother was not particularly warm or caring, held still loved her and he said he knew she loved him as well.

Lily was heartbroken to realize that her best friend had perhaps never really been a child or had a loving relationship with his parents. He always had to worry about what his actions might do to set off the abusive man his father was. Once he was old enough to understand that anything he did might warrant a slap in the face or a kick in the ribs for no good reason at all, he had learned to always be cautious and guarded in everything he did.

Perhaps that was why his disposition with just about everyone but her was so unpleasant. All he had ever known from anyone especially the two people who were supposed to protect and love him was neglect, abuse, and disregard.

All these things made Lily love him even more fiercely than before and it frightened her. She wanted to hold him and protect him from everyone. She wanted to be his shelter from the merciless taunting he received from the likes of Potter and his gang of sycophantic hyenas. She knew that oftentimes Sev brought their scorn upon himself, but she also knew that sometimes the bullying was unwarranted.

The doorbell interrupted her thoughts and she said "I'll get it mum." And went to answer the door.

When she answered she was shocked and equally irritated to find none other than James Potter himself on her doorstep looking every bit the arrogant toerag he was.

"What are you doing here?" She said perhaps a little more hostile that she would have had she not just been thinking about him and his creep friends torturing her best mate.

His eyebrows shot up in surprise at the hostility in her voice and also at the obvious swell of her belly under her snug blouse.

She blushed rather reluctantly.

"Sorry Evans, I didn't mean to surprise you." He said as if to placate her. "I just happened to be in the neighborhood and thought I might swing by for a chat."

What was he playing at? Swing by for a chat?

"How did you find out where I live?" She demanded.

"I have my ways." He said his smug smile sliding back into place irritatingly. "Aren't you going to invite me in?" He asked expectantly.

"I hadn't planned on it." She retorted though not with the venom her voice had previously possessed.

"Lily! Who is it?" Her mother's voice called from the kitchen.

"Oh it's nobody important mum. Just some jackass." She called back.

"Ouch, that one hurt a bit." James said with a fake wounded look as Lily's mum came up behind her at the door.

"Hello, I'm Lily's mum. Who are you?" Her mother asked.

"Hello Mrs. Evans, it's so nice to meet you. My name is James Potter. I go to Hogwarts with Lily. We're good friends." He said holding his hand out to her mother and putting on that James Potter charm he was known for.

James:

Her mother was as beautiful as she was, with the same striking almond shaped emerald green eyes as her daughter. James was in his element. Mothers loved him. And this mother was smiling warmly, already taken by his charm

Lily rolled her eyes unimpressed by his show. "Hardly." She interjected.

Ignoring her daughter's rudeness Mrs. Evans said "Would you like to come in James?"

"Actually he was just saying how he had to leave right now. Weren't you just saying you had to leave right now Potter?" Lily asked him pointedly.

"Nonsense Evans," James replied condescendingly. "Sirius can wait a few minutes while we catch up and I get to know your gorgeous mother."

He followed Mrs. Evans through the house and into the kitchen where she started preparing tea and asking him about Hogwarts and his family. He could practically feel Lily seething beside him. It amused him that she reacted this way. He knew she wasn't too fond of him, but he hardly warranted this sort of response. He wondered what had put her in such a state seeing as how she seemed already irritated when she answered the door. He knew he had aggravated her already foul mood by turning the charm on for her mother and accepting the invitation to come inside the house, but his curiosity had been piqued and in all honesty, he really had come by just to say hi and see how her summer was going in hopes of perhaps sparking a friendship that went beyond their vague acquaintance at school.

To put it simply he wanted to get to know Lily Evans. He hadn't been able to get her off his mind for the better part of two years now and it was quite apparent he would never get the chance while they were at school, so he had taken a chance and decided to try and get to know her better this summer, before they returned to Hogwarts in the fall.

He had spent a good four days debating on whether or not he should owl her first or just show up. He had decided that just showing up might be a little more romantic and his feelings were slightly hurt when she opened the door and was so obviously incensed at his presence. But James would not be deterred so easily. He enjoyed a challenge.

"Well I'll let you two kids catch up. I have some errands to get to anyways. It was nice to meet you young man." Mrs. Evans said.

"It was a pleasure to meet you as well Mrs. Evans." He replied gentlemanly.

"What are you playing at? We're not friends. We can hardly stand each other." Lily said eyeing him shrewdly.

"Come on now, I wouldn't say that. And besides, I would like to be friends." He replied.

"Seriously though what are you doing here?" She asked.

"I just came by to say hi and see how you're doing and, I dunno, ask if you would perhaps care to join me for dinner or something." He paused eyeing her belly again and let his eyes wander back up to her brilliant emerald ones "But something tells me that perhaps you're not interested going out on a date with me. Is it anyone I know?" He asked.

"That's none of your business Potter. And if you really wanted to know how I was, you could have sent me an owl." She said quickly.

"Yeah, well I thought it might be more romantic if I just showed up." He admitted before he stop himself.

He thought he saw her features soften at his revelation.

"I guess you're already romantically involved with someone else though huh?" He continued.

"No not really." She said quietly avoiding the surprised look in his eyes. "I'm not a whore or anything I know who the father is." She added quickly

"I didn't think you were" he said.

"I don't want anyone to know. I'm not going back to Hogwarts till after the Christmas Holidays. Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore are putting out that I'm doing a home study course for the term because I'm going to be visiting family in America." She revealed.

"I promise I won't tell a soul." He replied.

"Not even your pack of hyenas?" She said warningly.

"I promise." He said meaning it. If Lily Evans was going to trust him, he wasn't going to blow it.

"Thank you." She said humbly.

"Do you mind if I ask what happened? If you aren't telling anyone you've got to be dying for someone to talk to." He said hoping she would take the bait and open up to him a little bit.

She rolled her eyes in a pretend irritated sort of way and he could help the tiny jolt in his stomach at the thought that she might be being flirtatious.

"I've obviously had to tell _someone_." She said with a smirk.

"Oh come on Evans, teachers and parents don't count. Oh I forgot, you're freakish Slytherin friend lives around here too. You've probably told him, but I'm telling you right now, he doesn't count either." He said teasingly.

At this her eyes flashed dangerously and he realized him mistake in an instant but before he could apologize for insulting her friend she was already on her feet furious.

"As a matter of fact Potter he does in fact matter. And if you've just come to insult my friend then you can just leave." She said advancing on him.

He held up his hands in surrender "Whoa, whoa I'm sorry." He said "Can we please start over?" He pleaded.

She gave an exasperated sigh, "Fine, but let's get out of here." She said. Grabbing his arm and turning him toward the entry way sending a jolt of pleasant electricity through his whole body at her touch.

"Where are we going?" He asked half amused.

"Out." She retorted shoving him toward the front door. She reached for a notepad and scribbled two notes. One for her mother which she left on the kitchen counter, and one on the front door which to his dismay read:

_ Sev,_

_I went out with some old friends. Be back later. Don't wait up for me. I'll call when I get home._

_ Lily_

He felt a twinge of jealousy at her note to the greasy git. He knew that they were friends, but he didn't know they were that close. He fought the notion that Snivellus was the father of Lily's baby as he followed her down the sidewalk.

"Where exactly are we going?" He asked again.

"I already told you Potter, out. You said you wanted to buy me dinner or something, right? Well here's your chance." She replied over her shoulder.

He smiled to himself. This was going to be interesting.

Sev:

Severus wasn't completely confused as to Lucius's reasons for seeking him out. He had received an owl from him just the day before saying that he might be in town and would like to speak with Severus about something. What that something was Severus could only guess. He had corresponded with Lucius on occasion since he had left Hogwarts and Lucius was always praising Severus for his accomplishments in Potions and The Dark Arts. Lucius had hinted more than once that The Lord He served had shown interest in Severus whenever he brought him up. This made Severus curious as to why Lucius would bother bringing him up to his Dark Lord. There had been rumors over the years of Voldemort and his gathering army of followers. He knew of their plans to oppress Half-bloods and Muggle borns and while Severus appreciated having a good word put in for him if this new dark regime was rising in power, he was Slytherin enough to know that Lucius Malfoy most likely had ulterior motives.

As they walked Lucius spoke, "Your muggle father told me where I could find you." Severus didn't answer. "I hadn't expected you to be with that mudblood." Severus's blood boiled at the word but he bit his tongue allowing Lucius to continue, "I had thought you would have given up your fascination with her by now. It seems I was wrong." He paused turning to face Severus "Would you please accompany me to my home so that we may continue this discussion in private?" He asked holding out his arm.

"Certainly." Answered Severus; taking the proffered arm, and feeling the tug of side-along apparition behind his navel.

His feet slammed into the earth in front of an elaborate wrought- iron gate that guarded a large handsome manor-like house. "Welcome to Malfoy Manor." Lucius said smugly unwarding the gate and allowing Severus to pass through in front of him into the verdant grounds full of elegant gardens and sculptures.

As they settled into the drawing room Lucius called a house elf to bring them refreshments. The elf was back in a matter of seconds offering a variety of snacks. Severus took only a glass of iced water and looked up at Lucius expectantly.

"I'll get right down to it Severus, my Master requires your assistance in a matter that is most important to him." He said nonchalantly.

"I'm sorry, but I don't remember swearing an oath to your master." Severus retorted.

If Lucius was surprised by Severus's reply he hid it well, his face a mask of cool indifference.

"Now Severus, I have been telling you for months that The Dark Lord has become interested in you and your accomplishments. It would be unwise to refuse him." He said warningly.

"And what about my half-blood status? What does your master think of that Lucius?"

"I have been able to convince The Dark Lord that despite your inferior birth, you would be a most valuable asset ." Lucius replied calmly. "Think of it this way Severus, if you join us, you might be able to protect your little mudblood friend when The Dark Lord takes over." He added smoothly.

Something in Severus's gut dropped. He hadn't thought of it that way before. The fact that witches and wizards like himself and Lily would quite possibly be oppressed, even endangered with the rise of The Dark Lord had previously seemed like a far off notion. Like it could never happen to them and he felt a slow panic rise within as he realized he had been wrong. He had to admit to himself that he had wondered what it would be like to join The Death Eaters, when he was younger and Lucius was a constant presence at Hogwarts filling his head with Dark Propaganda. But when Lucius had left Hogwarts, it was almost as if a glamour had been removed and all Severus was able to see was Lily, and how would quite probably lose her if he got caught up in this whole mess. He had put it behind him, only agreeing with the other Slytherins he associated with as a feeble attempt to fit into his role within his house. He was of course still fascinated with The Dark Arts themselves, but this whole notion of a dark and dangerous wizard rising up to oppress and rule with only malevolent intentions was not something he wished to be a part of. And yet now, the way Lucius had put it, he felt like he had no other choice. It was either join these people and perhaps have a chance to protect Lily, or refuse them and become a target as well.

"I don't quite understand Lucius, certainly The Dark lord has other more experienced servants who would be willing to assist him in whatever this is." Severus said cautiously.

"He does. But he is willing to give you a chance my young friend. If I were you, I would take this most generous offer." Lucius replied.

Severus deliberated internally for only a moment more before finally deciding. "All right fine, what is it that The Dark Lord requires?" Severus replied grudgingly. Somewhere in the back of his consciousness he knew that he was going to regret this. Lily would never understand.

Lucius gave him a triumphant smile and said "He will I'm sure tell you himself at the next meeting, which I believe will be held within a week'sg time here in my home." He looked proud and Severus was careful not to show any displeasure nor surprise in his face at this news.

"And at this meeting what exactly is going to be required of me Lucius?" Severus asked trying his best to make the question sound casual.

"I doubt you will be made to take The Mark, if that is what you are asking Severus. You are still underage and I believe The Dark Lord only wishes to meet you himself and speak to you about the matter at hand." Lucius replied.

"Very well." Severus relented.

"Excellent," Lucius answered rising and heading toward the doors beckoning Severus to follow, "I will owl you with more information about the time and place of the meeting in a few days time. The Dark Lord will be most please to hear that you have agreed to aid him." Lucius continued as they made their way through the grounds and to the elaborate wrought-iron gate once again. When the wards were down and they exited Lucius once again offered his arm and Severus took it bracing himself for the of his stomach as they disapparated.

When the world righted itself again he realized they were standing in the exact spot from which they had departed only an hour before.

"Now, I must take my leave of you Severus, I have a previous engagement I need to attend." He said with a slight bow of his head.

"Good bye Lucius." Severus replied returning the gesture as Lucius disapparated from in front of him.

As Severus turned his mind reeled with the implications of the serious predicament he now found himself in. How had he let this happen? How long could he keep it from Lily? How much influence would he actually have with the Death Eaters and Voldemort should he be able to please the dangerous wizard? Would it be enough to save Lily?

He tried to fix his face into a calm front as he made his way back toward the Evans house. He hoped Lily that this one time Lily wouldn't be able to see through his mask like she usually did.

As he approached her door however he noticed that the car wasn't in the driveway and there was a not on the door.

He read it and felt terribly disappointed. He was going to have to go home and hope his father didn't notice him until he passed out in a drunken stupor. Maybe his mother would feel up to letting him read to her today. Maybe he could make her smile. He sighed discontentedly as he headed toward home wishing it didn't hurt as much as it did that Lily had chosen company other than his own.

_**OK so now that I've thrown a curveball, what do you guys think? Seriously I would appreciate some reviews. Thank you so much =)**_


	4. Fish and Chips

**Sorry it took so long to update this chapter. Being a mommy takes up a lot of time. Anyways always many thanks to my wonderful betas. And of course, anything you recognize belongs to Jo Rowling. Enjoy =)**

James:

They had made their way from Lily's house to a Chippy a few blocks called Barney's Fish and Chips that James didn't think looked too promising. When they ordered their food at the counter Lily led him inside to a small booth toward the back, she looked at him with a sheepish grin.

"I'm sorry, I've had this craving for a few days now." She confessed.

"It looks really good." He chuckled.

"Don't tease, I've been coming to this place since I was a kid." she laughed. "By the way, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I'm just really stressed out." She confessed.

"That's alright. I understand." he said gently. "Actually, I really can't understand. It must be really difficult. Your whole life is going to change." He continued.

"Well, actually we're giving the baby up for adoption." She confessed.

"We?" He asked

Lily gave him a resigned look and took a deep breath. "Ok look, I'm going to tell you the whole story. But you have to swear to me that you're not going to breathe a word of it to anybody. Anybody! Do you understand?" She said fixing him with a serious and pleading look.

"I already promised you I wouldn't say anything." He said.

"I know, but I need to know you mean it James!" She said desperately.

It was the first time she called him by his first name and he wished she hadn't sounded so anxious.

"I swear Lily." he said with as much conviction and sincerity as he could gather.

"Ok, you know that Severus and I have been very good friends for a long time?" She asked him.

His heart sank as he realized that what he suspected earlier must have been true. Snivellus must be the father of Lily Evans's baby. Severus he corrected himself in his head. Lily cared about the git, and he cared about Lily.

"Well, I got caught up in the moment one night and it just sort of happened. He had taken me out for lunch on a Hogsmeade weekend and everything was so wonderful and when we got back to the castle he kissed me and I just didn't want it to end. So I didn't end it…and then this happened. I had only told him a few days before we had taken our O.W.L.s. He went with me to tell Professor McGonagall and Professor Dumbledore and he sat with me while we told my parents as well. Honestly he's been so great through everything. I think I've realized through all this that he really is the greatest friend I could ever ask for."

He listened to her whole confession without interruption. When she was finished he sat back and let what she had said sink in. He noticed that she seemed more sad than she had been moments before.

"So are you two together now?" He asked trying to make it sound as casual as possible.

"No, not really." She said.

"What does that even mean?" he asked chuckling.

"It means…I don't know, I mean, I love him so much. Really I do, but he's been my best friend for six years. If this were to end badly I could loose him forever. And besides you've seen what he's like at school. How can I be in a relationship with him? I know that sounds shallow but-"

"Well he really isn't exactly a ray of sunshine Evans." James cut her off.

"Exactly…I just feel so guilty. Like I've lead him on or something." She said.

"What do you mean? What did he say when you told him you were pregnant?" He asked.

She gave a sad little sigh. "Well, he kind of asked me to marry him." She said and then seeing the shocked look on his face continued swiftly "Only because I told him I wanted to give the baby up for adoption and I wanted to be married when I decided to have children and everything."

He was still shocked at her confession. "Wow. I didn't realize, I mean I knew Snape had the hots for you, but I had no idea it was that serious. Has he told you he loves you?" he asked.

She avoided his gaze and he noticed a delicate blush rise to her cheeks.

"Yes." She confessed. "I mean I knew he did, I've known for a while. That's why I feel so guilty about it all. I knew the way he felt about me and I knew that I didn't feel the same way and I let it happen anyways. This whole situation has gotten so out of hand, and it's all my fault." She started crying now.

James felt like he was in over his head. He wasn't really used to crying females, but he felt the need to comfort Lily. He got up and sat beside her and put his arm around her shoulder. "Look, if you've told him you don't feel the same way about him there's really nothing more you can do Evans. He'll get over it. And if he's sticking around and supporting you through your pregnancy and everything, then it sounds like he really cares about you and he values your friendship. I'm sure it will all work out exactly how you want it to." He told her.

"Really you think so?" She asked looking hopeful.

"Absolutely." He said and he was amazed that he actually hoped it was true if only for Lily's sake. "So, when is the big day?" He asked.

Lily:

She breathed a little sigh of relief at the topic switching from her and Severus to the baby.

She was vaguely aware that Potter hadn't removed his arm from around her shoulders, but he wasn't making her feel uncomfortable so she decided not to mention it. "December 21st." she replied then added "That's why I'm able to come back to Hogwarts after the Christmas Holidays."

Lily was surprised how easy it was to just sit here and talk to James Potter. Away from his group of friends he seemed less egotistical. She assumed that had something to do with Sirius Black and the way James always seemed to be trying to impress his best friend.

She found it even more surprising that as time went on she actually _wanted _to be sitting here talking to James. She had had very little company since summer started. Only her parents and Severus and while she enjoyed her comfortable relationship with her best friend, there was something different about sitting here with someone outside her situation and it was refreshing that James wasn't judging her. In fact, he wasn't even judging Severus. He was just listening and offering comfort, and advice.

It was already late afternoon when they finished their fish and chips and made the short walk back to her house. Lily invited James to come inside but he refused politely.

"I have to get back home, Sirius is probably driving my mum up the wall by now." He answered.

"Alright, I'll see you some other time then." She said turning to head back into her house.

"Wait, Lily" He said reaching for her hand. "Sorry, um…I don't know if I'm going to get another chance to visit before I go back to Hogwarts. I'm going on vacation with my parents., but can I write you? I would really like to keep in touch, especially since you're not coming back until after Christmas." He said.

Lily was surprised by how nervous he sounded while mumbling out the question.

"Sure, that would be fine." she said with a warm smile she was sure she'd never graced James Potter with before.

"Will you write me back?" He asked shyly.

"No Potter, I'm just going to let your letters pile up and go unanswered for months." She said sarcastically. Then she added laughing "Yes I'll write back you nitwit."

He beamed at her and tried to make it look like he wasn't too excited at the thought of her writing him back. She thought it was rather charming that James Potter was here nearly making a fool of himself over her. And then she thought of Severus and a pang of guilt shot through her seeming to come from the very baby in her womb.

"Ok then Evans. You'll hear from me soon." He said fixing her with an overly formal nod.

"Good night Potter." she laughed in reply walking back into the house.

"Lily! Is that you?" Her mum called from the kitchen.

"Yes mum." she said walking to the kitchen.

"So, how did it go?" her mum asked.

"Ok I guess, we just went to get some fish and ships and talk." Lily answered.

"Why did I get the feeling that you weren't very happy to see James when he got here?" Lily's mum asked fixing her with a quizzical look.

Lily let out a soft chuckle as she answered "Well I really wasn't now that you mention it mum."

"Why ever not?"

"We're not exactly friends at school, well we weren't before. James and his friends are big prats who go around bullying other kids, including Severus." Lily answered.

"Ah, I see. You are very protective of him." He mum observed.

"Yes I suppose I am." Lily answered "Though, away from his friends James is different. Quieter, and a little more modest." Lily mused.

"Well that's good. Is Sev coming for dinner tonight?" Her mum asked.

"Um, I'm not sure. I guess I'll call. I did tell him I would on the note I left him." She said heading toward the phone on the counter.

Nervousness set upon her as she reached for the phone. Because of Tobias Snape's unstable temper, Lily never knew when it was ok to phone the Snape house. At the beginning of summer Severus had given Lily the phone number for emergencies, but the few times she had called, Severus's father had been severely annoyed and had taken it out on his son. Since then they had worked out a system, if Severus was expecting Lily to call, he would listen carefully for the phone to ring. One ring meant I'm available call me back. Two meant there's an emergency. Severus would then wait to make sure his father was either passed out drunk or at least took no notice of the phone and would then call Lily back. Lily hated this system because Severus's father could still become annoyed at the phone ringing and take it out of Severus and she would have no way of knowing.

As she dialed his number and let the phone ring once before hanging back up, she decided to look into some other form of communication. Perhaps some sort of enchanted coin or something. The phone rang and Lily was relieved. He called back right away which meant that his father was either not home, too drunk to hear the phone, or otherwise unconcerned with the phone ringing.

"Hello." She answered.

"Hi," Severus replied.

"My mum wanted me to ask you if you're going to come over for dinner tonight." Lily informed him.

"I was going to, but I'm with my mum right now. She isn't feeling well. I don't want to leave her." Severus answered. "I'm sorry. I'll be over tomorrow though." He continued.

"Ok then. I'll see you tomorrow." said Lily.

"Ok. Tell your mum thank you for inviting me and I'll see her tomorrow instead."

"I will Sev." Lily assured him.

"Goodnight." He replied.

"Goodnight." She answered before hanging up. "Sev's not coming mum. But he said thank you for inviting him and that he will see you tomorrow instead." Lily informed her mother.

"Ok love. Why don't you set the table for me yourself and your father then." Her mother smiled.

Sev:

He woke up at six forty five like he usually did. He sighed in frustration. He would love nothing more than to roll over and try to get another few hours of sleep, but he knew it was useless to try. He would only manage to toss and turn for an hour or so before giving up. Instead he made his way down stairs to the kitchen to make some tea and toast.

As he sat down for his breakfast his mind wandered to the day before. He replayed the puzzling meeting he had had with Lucius in his mind and he was thankful not for the first time that his mother had given him many of her magical books from when she was a student at Hogwarts and after that. Among them, he had had found a few volumes on Legilimency and Occlumency. He was equally grateful that he had been practicing both for the past few years on his own. If he was going to have to sit an audience with Voldemort he was going to try his defenses. If he could manage to keep details about Lily from Voldemort it might be easier to actually protect her, and the baby for that matter.

He finished his breakfast and made his way upstairs to shower and get ready for the day.

When he was fully showered and dressed he made his way to Lily's house. It was only eight fifteen, but he knew that Lily's mum was already up and Lily most likely would be as well. He enjoyed mornings with the Evans women.

As he made the short fifteen minute walk, he wondered how much of his meeting with Lucius he should reveal to Lily. He knew she was going to ask, and she would know if he was lying. She always knew. He decided that he was going to have to learn to master his features from now on. His emotions were always betraying him in his face and for some reason he felt this was something he couldn't afford any longer.

He rang the doorbell and Lily's mother answered with a smile. "Good morning Severus, come on in." She said stepping aside so he could enter.

"Good morning Mrs. Evans. How is she this morning?" he asked. Lily had been struggling with the usual nausea that came with morning sickness off and on for the past few weeks.

"Actually she isn't doing well this morning. I tried to get her to eat some dry toast a few minutes ago and she ran to the bathroom just before you rang the doorbell." Her explanation was interrupted at the sound of Lily retching in the bathroom down the hall.

"I'll go to her." Severus said.

"Are you sure Severus? You don't have to." Her mother replied.

"No, really, I like to be there for her. Even when she shouts at me." He chuckled. Lily would often yell at him to leave her alone as she emptied the contents of her stomach but he never did. He always knelt beside her with a glass of ice water and held her hand or her hair and placed a cool towel behind her neck.

He went to the kitchen to get her a glass of water with ice and went to the bathroom and knocked on the door.

"Go away Sev!" Came Lily's voice from behind the door.

"You know I'm not going to. Why don't you just unlock the door for me?" He replied with a smirk. H knew she would let him in. She always did.

The sound of the door unlocking reached his ears followed by the sound of her retching again. He open the door placed the glass of water on the counter, then grabbed a face towel and ran it under the cold water before kneeling beside her and placing the towel on her neck and holding her hair away from her face.

When she had finished being sick he reached over and flushed the toilet.

"Feeling better?" he asked. Handing her the glass of water.

"Yes. Much better. Thank you." she said rinsing her mouth out and brushing her teeth before drinking the rest of the ice water. "You know, you really don't have to do that."

"I know I don't _have_ to, but I want to." He replied with an exasperated sigh.

"Why on earth would you want to though?" She asked?

"Because you're having a miserable time getting sick and it's just as much my fault as it is yours and if I can't do anything for you but hold your hand through it all, or hold your hair, or bring you a glass of water or whatever else there is to do, I'll do it. I care about you, and I want you to know that I'm in this." He replied.

"I know you are Sev. Thank you." she responded with a tired smile. "Good morning." she said a little belatedly.

He smirked at her "Good morning."

"I'm going to jump in the shower and get dressed will you be alright with my mum?" She asked.

"Of course I will." He replied pretending to be affronted.

"Ok good, because I want to talk to you before we go to the doctor's this afternoon. I'll be back in a few minutes." She yelled back at him as she made her way up the stairs.

Severus laughed to himself, she always felt the need to make sure that if she went upstairs to change or whatever that he wouldn't get freaked out by being with her mum or dad for a few minutes. Like he would leave or something. Truthfully even if he did feel uncomfortable with her parents, which he certainly did not, he wouldn't leave.

He made his way to the kitchen and found lily's mum enjoying her morning tea and reading a newspaper.

"How is she?" She asked him.

"She's good. Better. She's going to take a shower and get dressed." He answered.

"Would you like some tea dear? Are you hungry at all?" Lily's mum asked him. He smiled up at her, he had come to love letting the woman mother him. Partly because he knew she genuinely cared about him, and partly because no one else did.

"Yes ma'am tea would be fine." He replied

"Are you sure? I can make you some eggs and bacon or sausage. Whatever you'd like." She insisted.

"No really Mrs. Evans, I had some toast this morning, I'm not that hungry." He assured her.

"Ok then," She replied setting his tea before him. He noticed she prepared it just the way he liked. No one did things like that for him. No one paid attention to him that much, except for Lily, and now her mum.

They spent the next half hour talking about Lily and the baby and the doctor's appointment, as well as the first meeting with potential adoptive parents. Severus found himself slightly nervous at the prospect of meeting the future parents of his unborn child. He was grateful that his mother had bought him some decent muggle clothes at the beginning of the summer, as well as a few sets of decent wizarding robes. He suspected that had a lot to do with the fact that he had grown several inches since last summer. When he got home his mother looked up at him in confusion. Where he stood only five foot last September first, he was nearly five foot eleven inches now. His mother couldn't deny that he was desperately in need of new clothes this time. There simply weren't any hand me downs that would be appropriate any longer.

Mrs. Evans finished her tea and went out to work in her garden as she usually did. Most mornings Severus would join her if Lily wasn't awake yet or getting ready upstairs, but he had heard her get out of the shower and heard to her room about ten minutes before that.

Just as he suspected she would, Lily wandered into the kitchen a minute after her mother went outside.

"Tea?" he asked her.

"O god no. I doubt I can keep anything down right now." She replied plopping down in the chair across from him.

"So, what happened with Lucius yesterday?" she asked him seriously.

Though Severus had been expecting her to ask him this question he had not anticipated her asking him right away. He hoped he had managed to keep his face impassive at her inquiry and debated on whether he should tell her the whole story or not. He took a deep breath before answering, "Well, Lucius asked for my help on something." He replied.

"On what?" She asked raising an eyebrow suspiciously.

"On a project of sorts." He answered evasively.

"You mean on something to do with Death Eaters and Dark Lords?" She retorted.

"Lily, I can't really talk about it." He sighed and shrugged his shoulder in a defeated manner giving up all pretense.

"Well what did you tell him?" She pressed.

"I said I would think about it." He responded avoiding her gaze.

"You're lying." She challenged.

He looked up wounded at her accusation. Yes, technically he was lying, but he was doing so to protect her and he had to make her believe him. "Look, I told him I would think about it only to get him to leave us alone."

"Ha!" she replied skeptically.

"No really Lils, don't you trust me?" He pleaded.

"What do you mean leave _us _alone?" she asked her eyes narrowed with suspicion.

"You know how those people are Lily. I'm afraid if I offend them somehow they might target me and now that Lucius is aware that I you and I maintain a friendship, you. " he said. It was true enough and he willed her to believe him.

She sighed and relented with a nod of her head, "Ok Sev, just be careful. You aren't meeting with him again any time soon are you?" she asked.

He made sure to fix his face as impassive before replying, "No." He lied easily and was pleased when she didn't accuse him of lying to her again. It was the first time he was actually able to lie to Lily and get away with it.

She fixed him with a smile. "Good, now, let's talk about the doctor's appointment." she said.

"Are you sure you don't want to see a Healer that specializes in Birthing?" He asked anxiously. They had discussed this topic over and over in the past few weeks and Lily had admitted that she would like to at least explore that option, but had been discouraged by her parents.

"Look, Sev, women have been giving birth in the muggle world relatively safely for a long time. Hospitals are safe, doctors are safe, my mum would feel safer if I were monitored by a healthcare professional. I trust my mums judgement. She gave birth twice in a muggle hospital and she's absolutely fine." Lily said trying to calm him.

"I don't know Lily, what if something goes wrong?" He asked his face no longer the stoic mask and instead full of concern.

"Look, we'll talk to my parents again. Would that make you feel better?" She asked.

"Maybe." he replied.

"Oh, I almost forgot!" She exclaimed.

"What?" he asked curiously.

"We have a meeting with the first set of parents tomorrow morning at eleven thirty." she stated. "And then another one with a second set at four in the afternoon." she added.

"Ok then." He said as he felt a slight panic rise.

"Oh my gosh Sev are you nervous?" She teased.

"A little." he admitted blushing slightly.

"Whatever for? We're the ones choosing them to be the parents of our child. They should be the nervous ones." she laughed.

"I know," he said managing to chuckle at himself. "I dunno, I'm just nervous. They get to choose their child based on the birth parents, meaning us. What if they hate me?" he asked.

"Sev, I think you're being a bit irrational." she said unable to contain her laughter now.

He chuckled again "I guess you're right." he said. "Hey, how was yesterday by the way?" he asked suddenly remembering that she had left before he came back from his meeting with Lucius yesterday.

"It was fine." she answered quickly. Maybe a little too quickly.

"Who did you meet up with?" he asked wondering what it was she was trying to hide from him and why.

"O just some friends." she said. "Let's go for a walk." she added quickly trying to change the subject.

"What friends?" He asked raising a skeptical eyebrow now fully curious.

"Why the interrogation?" she asked heatedly.

"Lil, I'm only curious, and you're getting a bit unnecessarily defensive." he said exasperatedly.

"Just a friend Sev, that's all." she replied.

"Just a minute ago you said some friends," he pointed out. "Besides, I thought you didn't want anyone to know about the baby.?" he inquired.

She sighed and let her shoulders drop in defeat "Ok look, I only didn't tell you 'cause I didn't want you to get upset over nothing." she started

"Go on.." he replied

"James Potter came by-" she stated

"WHAT?" he exclaimed in outrage.

"Sev! Will you let me finish?"

"What did he want?" he demanded.

"I'm getting to that, honestly Severus stop interrupting me!" she chided.

"I'm sorry." He relented feeling slightly abashed. He tried to remember that Lily wasn't his girlfriend and he had no right to tell her whom she could and could not associate with, even if she was pregnant with his child. Then again even if she was his girlfriend he doubted he would be able to tell what she could and could not do.

"He just showed up, I had not control over the situation. I answered the door and there he was and he seen this-" she said gesturing to her now almost five month baby bump, "And we just went to grab something to eat and talk about things."

"Talk about what? And what was he doing here in the first place?" he asked, still suspicious as to Potter's intentions.

"I don't really know what he was doing here in the first place, he said he happened to be in the neighborhood and just wanted to say hi." She said.

"O bollocks." he interjected not buying one word of Potter's reason for visiting Lily.

"Then after he seen the fact that I am pregnant I decided I should fill him in and swear him to secrecy." she continued ignoring his outburst.

"Why couldn't you talk here?" he asked, still a little resentful of the fact that Lily had spent the greater part of the afternoon in James sodding Potter's company.

She gave a small exasperated sigh and said "Because Sev I knew you would react like this" she said gesturing to his still furious disposition, "and I didn't want you and James Potter having a row on my front lawn over nothing. He showed up, we went somewhere else to talk that was it. Ok? Besides I didn't think I had to answer to you about who I talk to." she added irritably.

"I'm sorry, you're right. I didn't mean to yell at you." he said softly.

Lily:

"It's alright I get it, you can't stand him." she replied pulling him into a hug. She regretted it immediately. She knew it would mean something different to him than it did to her. To her she was comforting her best friend after the fight. To him they were making up. They were the same thing, but they were also different.

She broke their embrace and reached in her pocket "By the way, I'm not calling your house anymore, I makes me too nervous." she said as she placed a seemingly common galleon in his hand.

"Oh come on, our system is fool proof." he chuckled.

"It most definitely is not! I never know if you're going to get beat because I called!" she exclaimed.

"Alright, alright. What's this then?" he asked picking up the galleon in his hand.

"It's a charmed coin. I have the other." she said pulling hers out of her pocket. "All you have to do, it touch your wand to it and say, or think what you want to say and I'll get the message here around the edge of mine." she said demonstrating how it worked she touched her wand to her galleon, "It will light up and become warm when you have received a message." she continued as Severus's coin started to glow and became warm in his palm.

He looked down at the message: "_Cool huh?" _was formed in tiny letters around the edge of his galleon.

He tried his out. "_It's brilliant." _he sent her back. She beamed up at him.

"Thank you." she replied, a delicate blush touching her cheeks.

"No really Lily, that's amazing. How did you do that?" he asked awed by her talent.

"I just used a _Protean Charm. _We learned about them last term." she replied.

"I think I remember." he replied.

"Well, I think I'm hungry now. Let's go grab something to eat real quick before we have to leave for the doctor's" she suggested before yelling to her mum that they'd be back in an hour.

He smirked at her enthusiasm. "What were you thinking?" he asked as they made their way out the front door.

"Oh, I don't know, I've been having a terrible craving for fish and chips lately." she replied smiling back at him.

"Fish and chips?" he asked with a pretend scowl.

"Yes! I need some right now, and you do not want to make me wait Severus!" she teased.

"Ok then," he relented. "Fish and chips it is."

***a/n: For the sake of this story, let's just say that the ministry of magic is not as strict when it comes to the use of underage magic back in the day. Speaking of which, it's not really that far fetched to believe that Lily might have created an enchanted galleon to communicate with Severus is it? I mean, I actually believe that one of the reasons he can't stand Hermione is because she reminds him so much of Lily. And the enchanted galleon is too clever to be something Lily would never think of. What do you guys think? Review, review, review ^_^**


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